On my way… by Marie

Keep holding on to what you love & enjoy the ride of life


4 Comments

It’s YOU, it’s YOU, it’s all for YOU…

♪ Video Games – LANA DEL REY ♪

“There is a primal reassurance in being touched, in knowing that someone else, someone close to you, wants to be touching you. There is a bone-deep security that goes with the brush of a human hand, a silent, reflex-level affirmation that someone is near, that someone cares.”
― Jim ButcherWhite Night

YOU I met not a long ago, YOU who touched my soul, who touched my heart, YOU who reassured me, who made me feel safe, YOU who helped me (even unconsciously) find my smile back, YOU again who showed me the bright side of life when I needed it most, YOU who opened me a door to a new beginning, so to YOU… I simply want to say… I care about YOU.

Whatever brought YOU in my life, whatever it was, it was Heaven-blessed! And as one of my favourite songs tells it so well… “The skies began to clear and I was at rest”. Your only breath took me back home, a home that is not that far from my homeland, but which seems miles away when I’m far from YOU and the others…

I am totally aware that my words here might not be enough to make YOU feel how much I care, but as I also know words are not just words to YOU, I will count on them now until I get to see YOU again…

“A friendship that is Meant to be, is filled with things they mean to say.”
― Grant Vann

And I hope… I truly hope, from the bottom of my heart, that I will see you again very soon… but I’m scared. I’m scared to hear you say you can’t, you’re not free that day or whatsoever, I’m scared to hear or read the impossibility of a new reunion. So please, please because I don’t think I would survive it (again), because it would make me sad, it would make me cry, please… please, don’t say no.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Do YOU realise that because I’ve met YOU, YOU are not only a part of my life… but a part of me?! And that for this very special reason, I can’t totally be me, I can’t fully live this life YOU have introduced me to, if YOU are not, even a little, around me ?!

I will finish with what Marissa Mayer once wrote… “You can’t have everything you want, but you can have the things that really matter to you.” and because I care about YOU,  because I hold YOU dear & because YOU matter a lot to me, I don’t fret as easily as I used to… I know I’ll meet YOU again and I know everything’s gonna be alright!  

Advertisements


2 Comments

New Beginning…

I was in the winter of my life, and the men I met along the road were my only summer.
At night I fell asleep with visions of myself, dancing and laughing and crying with them.
Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour, and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times.
I was a singer – not a very popular one,
I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken.
But I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it to know what true freedom is.
When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I’d been living, they asked me why – but there’s no use in talking to people who have home.
They have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people – for home to be wherever you lay your head.
♪ Ride – Lana Del Rey ♪

I am dedicating this post to the adorable people I met in England & I view as my friends today, to Caroline Behan (the funny, faithful and true friend), Becky Murray (the very supportive and sweet but slightly crazy friend), Laura Payne (the thoughtful friend and one of the nicest girls on earth), Jamie Ward (the sensitive “gangsta” & big brother friend) and Melody Wilson (the popular girl… but the nice one ^^ ! #haha).

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” – C. Joybell C.

Strength & Love… that’s what a new beginning usually brings back into your life! It starts with a smile, a hello, a simple name or just a door that is held. In fact, it starts when you meet THOSE people! It starts when you feel like you’re home when you look THEM in the eyes…

And there is ONE thing you feel… You feel butterflies! You feel butterflies in your stomach, you feel like everything has changed in a burst of light and after a while (and that’s precisely where I am now!) you feel like you just wanna know THEM better, because they are the people who made your heart beat again, the people who showed you, proved you there was hope when everything was dark around you (or at least not very bright :p!). Lisi Harrison once wrote “It was an image I would never forget. Or was it the emotions the image conjured – hope, excitement, and fear of the unknown, all three tightly braided together, creating a fourth emotion that was impossible to define. It was getting a second chance at happiness and it tickled like swallowing fifty fuzzy caterpillars.” That’s how I felt when I met them… It’s a bit like welcoming the new year, full of unknown and exciting things that have never been.

You can start so many things with new friends! They have a picture of you that is so pure and new and fresh! My new friends don’t see the girl I used to be because I don’t want them to see her, I don’t want them to see the depressed, insecure and quite fragile girl I was… I don’t want that because this girl doesn’t really exist anymore, she got rid of all her burdens and she’s more than ever ready to move on! There is nonetheless Carl Bard who reminds this: “Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” So in short, it’s all about second chances… And because these people I’ve quoted at the beginning showed me a whole new world, a world where there’s more happiness I’ve never thought there could be, because they maybe unconsciously offered me this second chance, and because they are also giving me the perspective of another ending (an happier one!); for all these reasons, you’ll probably better understand why I can’t go back to where & who I used to be, why I can’t live the rest of my life in France and become the girl I was again (I love my homeland, my friends and my family… this has nothing to do with them in particular, but with the situation some of them created).

So all I’m gonna do now is not count the days, hours, minutes and seconds that separate me from England, from the hearts of my friends, well from home actually (because you know your home is, above all, in the hearts of the people you love and who love you!), BUT I’m gonna make every day, every hour, every minute and every second I’ll spend with THEM count! It’s been a too long time now I’m living like I’m not alive that I am NOT not going to take every opportunity to start over and finally live the way I’m supposed to (if this makes any sense?! :/)!

I will simply finish this post with a quote of Roman Payne, once more witnessing how travelling help you realise where & who you belong with…

“Cities were always like people, showing their varying personalities to the traveller. Depending on the city and on the traveller, there might begin a mutual love, or dislike, friendship, or enmity. Where one city will rise a certain individual to glory, it will destroy another who is not suited to its personality. Only through travel can we know where we belong or not, where we are loved and where we are rejected.”

Everything’s pretty clear to me now! I’ve found my safe place… in England, a place where I feel at ease. I’ve met a lovely bunch of people I now consider home (yes I’m talking about you who saw their names coloured in orange at the beginning of this article :p !!! ^^). In fact, I’ve found those people and that place, giving me that happy-cry feeling! And honestly, aren’t those things some of the most important things there are in life?!

Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people, and finally I did on the open road.
We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore, except to make our lives into a work of art.
Live fast. Die young. Be wild. And have fun.
I believe in the person I want to become.
I believe in the freedom of the open road.
And my motto is the same as ever:
“I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I’m at war with myself I ride, I just ride.”
♪ Ride – Lana Del Rey ♪

Keep holding on to what you love, my sweet readers & enjoy the ride of life (you never know where it might lead you! Look!)

Much love to you all ❤

xoxo


Leave a comment

Saying goodbye…

♪ Looking through your eyes

I could never find a safer place

Even if I tried…

Don’t ever let me go

I know I’m ok

Wrapped in your arms…. I’m home ♪

Wrapped in your arms – Firelight 

sadness_by_mithertiths-d4r339v

Don’t let me go… Keep me in your arms…

To all the fantastic people I’ve met over here in England; to you guys who are my friends and who it is so hard to say goodbye to, to all of you… Caroline, Melody, Jamie, Becky, Jenna, Laura, and the lovely twins Stela & Julia, to each of you… I’ve never thought it was going to be that hard, but leaving you here literally is a HEARTBREAK!!!

Not a long ago, a friend reminded me that… “Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you until we meet again!” Even if it doesn’t seem like it right now, even if it’s still hard to believe, even if everything looks like it is all over… when you truly think about it, it’s just… true! And as hard as it is for me right now, as painful as all these goodbyes are (whether they were said in London this last weekend or this week on Hayling), I would like to leave England with this state of mind, I want to leave with HOPE! Cassandra Clare once wrote “Every meeting led to a parting, and so it would, as long as life was mortal. In every meeting there was some of the sorrow of parting, but in everything parting there was some of the joy of meeting as well.” I precisely want to leave with THIS feeling, with this pain due to the separation (because it is actually unavoidable!) mixed with the joy of seeing all these people I love again! Thus, you’ll understand I’d rather say “I SEE YOU SOON” instead of “GOODBYE” (which is, let’s say it, so much more depressing)!!!

This post is probably the most difficult I have had to write… Not because of a lack of inspiration or anything, but simply because it moves me a lot… One sometimes says that “tears are words the heart can’t say”, “a grief that can’t be spoken”. But as you can’t see me, I have to do my best to express what’s within my tears right now…

Kiera Cass once wrote “You’ve changed me forever. And I’ll never forget you.” I also want to add: ‘I will always be thankful for everything you’ve brought me and I know you will keep on bringing”. You arrived into my life and left your footprints on my heart and I know that having you in my life totally changed me… you changed me for good, even maybe for the better ❤

I know I will all see you again, wherever it may be… England, France, Europe, or another continent! But it’s not really where we’ll meet again that matters… What’s truly important is to realise that wherever we are from each other, wherever we go, wherever we’ll be… as far as I’m concerned, you’ll always be in my heart, you’ll live in my heart forever! And you know what one says?! “People who live in your heart are living with you!” You see? Now that you’re in my heart, you’ll be with me forever and we’ll never be apart… So don’t be afraid because I’m leaving… because I love you always, I love you with my heart!

Now I just hope that I’ll be in your hearts as well as you’re in mine… because as Pittacus Lore once wrote “Every beat of my heart belongs to you, whether you ask for it or not.” So don’t give up on me… because I WON’T give up on you!

Just think about this quote of Richard Bach…

“Can miles truly separate you from friends…. If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there? “

So to all of you, my lovely ones, Caroline, Melody, Jamie, Becky, Jenna, Laura, and Stela & Julia, I am not saying GOODBYE… I’m saying I SEE YOU VERY SOON :* Xxx

For this special post, I will change my “motto” a bit and write…

Keep holding on to who you love & enjoy the ride of life 😉 ‘Cause Look! You never know who you’re going to find on your way… 😉

You and I will meet again

When we’re least expecting it

One day in some far off place

I will recognize your face

I won’t say goodbye my friend

For you and I will meet again

~Tom Petty

MUCH LOVE TO ALL OF MY ENGLISH FRIENDS ❤ ❤ ❤ and to all of you, my sweet readers!

xoxo

tumblr_mo2y2gcTcs1r1jroco1_500

From across the sea… 

Is this what it feels like to really cry? I shall guess so… But as painful as these tears may be, there’s nonetheless & somehow good news… These tears are the proofs that you’re in my heart ❤